Tuesday Treat: 3D Bones

These kids are practising for their audition for Step Up 3D. They got the moves, the turf, and the look. But unfortunately they lost out to a z-grade bone. Cassie-the-brown-poo-rock-lobster from Home and Away. Don't let it get you down bones. Pirahana 3D is out soon, and I'm sure there are ample bone extras needed for that.

Monday Meal: Bonefiti

Shoefiti is an age old tradition, harking back to the golden days of drug use. Apparently it designated a crack house was in the vicinity, and one fable says it even symbolised heroin use: once you inject your first hit, you can never 'leave'. Well I have discovered the next big thing in 'fiti': bonefiti. The act of throwing your bones atop a bus shelter. It signifies an A-grade chicken dealer is at the next stop. I guess there must also be a Pasta Hut coming up here too. Now you know why the streetside seats on the double-deckers are always full...

Sunday Snackbox: Bone Fraud

Nigerian scammers on Gumtree have nothing on this sly bones. If you used this cash point outside FCKF on Old Street a few weeks ago then you're probably sitting at the entrance to the station with a dog and a creased, empty Subway coffee cup with a few pence in it. Through a hi-tech system of strategically placed mirrors and a strip reader, these bones are now spending your life savings on an endless holiday in Hawaii smashing mojitos and doing the limbo with heaps of chicks.

Saturday Salmonella: Crack Gypsies Meth Emporium

This is the East Ends best kept secret. Every Friday the 13th, the Crack Gypsies sell all their little precious keepsakes. This is one of their popup stalls, and you'll find them any where between E2 and E9. There are some hell rare goodies on offer in this junkie's skunk wheeler. Bags and coats for the ladies, plenty of latenight thirst quenching drinks and some of the best food you'll find this side of Grange Hill. Haggle away, just don't get stuck with a needle as you rifle through looking for that one-off piece of magic.